stupid associations

It’s funny the associations our minds make.  The weirdest things make me think about people, places, events.  Okay, I’ll be blunt – guys I once dated.  I walked out of my apartment today to take out the trash and one glance at my parking space reminded me of my last few moments with Cameron.  It’s so random.  I see that parking space every day.  I walk to and from it every day.  But tonight, in the dark, I couldn’t help but think about Cameron’s red truck, parked in that space, walking him to it after our third, and what turned out to be our final, date.  I remembered kissing him goodbye, walking away as he got it, and the smile on his face.  How the hell was I supposed to know it would be the last time I saw him?

I have a blue shirt that I bought a couple of years ago for a first date with a guy named Than.  A year later, I wore the shirt on another first date, this time with a guy named Geoff.  Neither of those relationships ended particularly well.  Now, every time I see that damn blue shirt hanging in my closet, I think about those two men.

After our second date, Cameron sent me a flirty text saying how much fun he’d had and thanking me for the chapstick (which I thought was an incredibly cute way of acknowledging our first kiss without straight out saying anything about it).  I happen to be addicted to chapstick, Softlips in particular.  I carry it with me at all times.  On the night of our second date, I had a new “flavor” of Softlips with me – Winter Mint.  Now, every time I pull out Winter Mint, I can’t help but think of that damn text message.

I watched Gone in 60 Seconds with a guy I briefly dated in college, Stu.  So now, every time I see it on tv, I’m taken back to the moment in his apartment when we watched it, cuddled on the couch together.

Ugh. Stupid, stupid brain.  You are NOT helping.


5 thoughts on “stupid associations

  1. I have exactly the same silly associations with my stuff too or with things I do. When we listened to the radio my ex-boyfriend had to listen to it so it was on an even volume number otherwise he felt ‘unsafe’ so now when I’m programming the radio I always put it on an even number. Just weird little things I do or see remind me of him >.< Soon I won't be able to do anything haha

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